There was a request last week for me to clarify what was meant when I used the term "jazz" in my last post. According to my sources when most people think of jazz they think of Kenny "Ken" G. This is wrong. Alas, this is a topic for another day because I have neither the time nor patience right now to educate the masses. So in lieu of an enlightening piece about a large piece of music culture, I present to you an enlightening piece about a large piece of 90's kids sketch komedy (not a spelling error. Everyone knows the letter "k" is hilarious) culture.
"Welcome to Goodburger, home of the Goodburger. Can I take your order?" ... Words that will go down in history. I defy you to find anyone born between the years of 1987-89 that doesn't recognize that line. The only people that wouldn't start salivating at the very mention of this line are idiots and Polynesians. There I said it. Anyway, these words were famously at the opening of a humble sketch on the sketch komedy show All That, back in the hay day of Nickelodeon. What followed this opening only the gods could predict. An uproarious monsoon of slapstick komedy and the inevitable mention of "trousers" (possibly the most used word on All That) was to be expected.
At the forefront of the sketch was a one Kel Mitchell. He had the look of a regular teenage black male at the time, but if you closed your eyes you'd swear you were listening to a california surfer dude! You truly believed he was Ed, a timeless character whose buffoonery went straight to the funnybone. It is this mastery of his kraft which sent Kel to the silver screen. His duplicitous character traits intrigued audiences and critics alike. His loveable oafishness caused all kinds of wacky problems! I can't think of any off the top of my head right now so use your imagination.There was also a host of secondary regular characters. Probably the most notable was former Manson Family member, Connie Muldoon.
Now that you have been refreshed on the origins of Goodburger we can proceed to the movie. The movie obviously stars the incomparable Kel Mitchell with the added bonus of Kenan Thompson. Here you have irrefutable proof that the letter "k" and laughter go hand in hand. The movie starts out with a scintillating plot of a boy and his (mom's) car and the heartbreak that ensues. Dexter (Thompson) in the midst of an illegal joyride to commemorate the last day of school is at the very least surprised to see he has crashed his car into Sinbad! (shocked emoticon!) Sinbad, being the fine upstanding citizen he is, decides to call the authorities while he delivered that famous line, "I hate to put a black man in jail..." He is however dissuaded from this by ol' Dex who says he will cover the cost of the repairs. This forces Dexter to get a *gulp* summer job!
He started at Mondo Burger, arch rival of the downhome favorite Goodburger. He was, however, fired due to his obvious learning disabilites and lack of burger assembly skills...also because Kurt (the manager of Mondo Burger) was a total douche. So this led Dex to Goodburger. Here he encounters an all-star cast of characters including the inevitable Abe Vigoda..and friends! Now that Dexter was a part of the Goodteam it was up to him apparently to save Goodburger from ruin by the hands of Mondo Burger.
For interests sake I'll skim over some of the major plot points and get right to the dance party in the insane asylum. The insaciable George Clinton provides the beats and the crazies provide the screams of terror and blood! Also the inscrutable Linda Cardellini, future star of "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed", plays the bewitching, albeit crazy, love interest of Kel with birds in her hair...or something.
Now for the bullet pointed points of interest in no particular order because I'm lazy and this movie is way more komplicated than you'd think:
Dramatic monologue brilliantly deliviered by Kenan about how his father left him when he was but a boy. Also outlined are the intracasies of the love he had for a yo-yo.
Carmen Electra trying to seduce Kel to get the secret recipe of his Goodsauce which saves Goodburger. Also her lip liner is like an inch and a half above her lip and I can never get over it and I hate it.
Abe Vigoda: "I think I broke my ass..."
Sinbad's afro
Kel and Kurt's (hey another "K"!) interaction in Kurt's kar. This is actually funny and it gets me every time.
Connie Muldoon.
Ok so all in all this movie is ridiculously konvoluded. It certainly is not for anyone who enjoys plausable things. I actually happen to enjoy this movie very much but thats because I know how to turn my brain off when appropriate. A skill that pretty much everybody who criticizes The Transporter series for is laughable plots, lacks. But thats a rant for another time.
"Where are they now" you might ask?
Kel is presumed to be a failure and living with his auntie.
Kenan is on that piece of cuntfuthery they call Saturday Night Live.
Sorry for the delay and sorry that I used so many exclamation points.
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2 comments:
in retrospect, all that! was one of the worst shows of all time.
keenan was the only one that was ever funny. amanda bynes only made it because she looks good enough to be mildly successful.
can you imagine a world where lori beth denberg was on tv from week to week?
i just checked her imdb, she was in dodgeball but i dont remember her at all. and the first thread on her page talks about someone saying she was stabbed to death on her wikipedia.
her fan was outraged.
and the people commenting are incredible. someone told a story about meeting her at an ice cream place, and hes the signature of one of the people yelling 'lucky!'
'"HOW COULD THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!"
Spencer from iCarly
Never be ashamed of being christian'
that place is so stupid.
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