Suck it, monkeys!

I'm going to take some liberties today. This isn't a sports blog, but its already late and theres one thing I can write just enough about to make an acceptable post that won't bore the hell out of casual and/or non-sports fans.

This article in the relentlessly perfect Guardian says there will be an American sports franchise in Britain in 2 years. I respond to this by saying, shenanigans.

After all, this is an entertainment blog, and what is sports if not entertainment? Especially the money making machine that is the modern, $8 for a Bud Light and an extra $100 if you want your Sunday Ticket in HD NFL. That's right. Its $269 a year to watch your team out of market, and if you want to see those games in High Def, its $369.

Other more qualified writers have already broken down how the NFL has priced out all the real fans and its all club seating and luxury boxes now, so now that the American fans have been raped, they're going to try to pillage Britian.

While theres been two NFL games at Wembley, and literally one million ticket requests for those two games, its hard to imagine that there would be a sustained market over there. They just don't care for it. Like anything, you sort of have to grow up with something to appreciate it. Baseball is boring to anyone who can't get into the subtleties of the game. In that same vein, I don't care about art. I can appreciate a nice painting, but I've never cared to learn about the artist, or look into more art, or try it myself. Perhaps if I had grown up around it, or had painted myself I could appreciate it on a much deeper level. So a great work of art to me is a great diving catch to someone who doesn't watch baseball.

This is the only way I'll ever be able to compare Van Gogh to Jacoby Ellsbury...

So why should the English be able to really appreciate the strength and courage of Wes Welker? Its just a catch to them, not a dangerous route across the middle with Brian Urlacher bearing down on you, no pun intended. We can't appreciate the strength and composure of Didier Drogba fighting off defenders, to Americans its just a tap in goal, and we wonder why anyone would watch a game that ends 1-0.

(By the way, don't think it didn't kill me to use a Patriots receiver and a Chelsea striker as examples, they just happen to be the best possible examples in those situations, even if one is an ugly, diving, coin chucking bastard)

So maybe the NFL will put a team in England, and maybe it'll succeed at first. But don't be surprised when the London Silly Nannies become the Los Angeles Silly Nannies in 2016.