What did we miss?

I said this would be up at 7:00, so by my clock I have 52 minutes to write something of significance. I'll be honest, at this very second I've got nothing.

Most of my time in New Jersey was spent watching horrible things. I rediscovered the glory that is films such as Junior, Over The Top, and Robocop 3.

Robocop is really the worst idea for a movie of all time. If he were an action figure and only an action figure its a pretty decent idea, but to actually watch this film in action, its just unbelievably stupid. I can't speak for the first movie, which was obviously good(read: successful) enough to spawn two more films for the franchise, but Robocop 3 is an abomination. Its one redeeming factor is that is a hilarious abomination.

A film with a budget of $22 million brought in $10.6 million. Its that kind of bad. It revolves around Robocop fighting on the behalf of orphans because an evil corporation wants to destroy their homes and build strip malls and shit. Of course they have their own police force that rules over the Detroit(yes its set in Detroit, yes it was shot in Atlanta) police to make them more evil. Details are pointless because the story is irrelevant, but theres underground revolutionaries, street punks, a man named Paul McDagget, a pimpmobile impervious to rocket propelled grenades and it all mixes together to become the funniest movie you'd never expect to enjoyable at all.

Its a hell of a lot funnier than Paul Blart: Mall Cop is going to be, anyway.

Over The Top really deserves its own book. I can't do it justice in this one post, but I'll describe the plot. A trucker named Lincoln Hawk(played by Sylvester Stallone) tries to win back to love of his young son by going to Las Vegas and winning an arm wrestling tournament.

Here's the taglines...

-Lincoln Hawk will fight for his son the only way he knows how.

-Some fight for money... Some fight for glory... He's fighting for his son's love

-Driving headlong towards the biggest fight of his life.

It just has some of the most inexplicable scenes in it of all time, like Stallone's son still wanting to stay with him even though he just smashed his semi into the front of his father in laws mansion. Oh, this also features my favorite 80s movie stereotype, the rich father(father in law in this case) trying to buy someone off to stay away from their daughter(in this case grandson)

The soundtrack features Sammy Hagar singing a song called "Winner Takes it All" so, draw your own conclusions. It also features such stars as Frank Stallone, Asia, Eddie Money and Kenny Loggins. Sadly, its not available on iTunes.

So there you have it, how I spent my winter break. I'm a lot dumber now, but these things happen. Now excuse me as I have to go eat, I have strange hankering for paint chips...