My Dumbening

I can't help it. I have nothing worth saying tonight. I'm thinking as hard as I can but consider my situation. Martini Andy is watching Demolition Man on the other side of the room.

I never had a chance.

Let the record show that I hate 99% of movies set in the future. I don't know why anyone writes them because its obviously impossible to predict what any of this will be like. Clearly, Demolition Man failed. In 2032 there will be no ban on bad language, there won't be any sex helmets and hopefully there won't be any Wesley Snipes.

Other than that, well, nothing. I'm stupid now. I should have seen this coming. I have no brain anymore, I think its been replaced by a bunch of sticks and mud. Kind of like in Cannibal Holocaust, but through a different orifice.

Speaking of Canninal Holocaust(and people who need to be savagely beaten and subsequently consumed), Ann Coulter has a new book out. We don't talk much about books here, but does anyone want to review it? I don't think I could ever convince anyone to spend money on it but surely someone can steal it off their racist aunts toilet tank or something? I think it'd be interesting.

If you'd like to know my full thoughts on Ann Coulter, turn my Scott Boras piece into a Mad Libs and plug in Coulters name. The worst part about it is that people think shes hot. She certainly thinks so, look at her book covers. I happen to think her face looks like "2 girls, 1 cup" personified, but maybe thats just me.

Does anyone know who the best looking conservative is? I think you're hard pressed to find a good answer. Michelle Malkin? Elizabeth Hasselbeck(yes, shes married to Matt's loser brother, Tim)? Bristol Palin? Some random bitch that attends college in the south and may or may not be one of these LSU cheerleaders who may or may not sue me for libel and defamation of character(I just needed to put a face on this evil)? None of these are great choices.

Anyway, I'm taking suggestions. I have to go enhance my calm.

God damnit I hate this movie.