Outlandish Statements

Due to a lack of chemistry and intelligence, theres something that happens on NFL pregame shows that is really stupid and really effective. When not talking over each other or pretending to laugh at each others joke, they force an argument. Sort of like what they used to do at Crossfire.

Heres how it works, you have a topic where people have some strong opinions and then one guy decides to step up and take it way too far. Now, for the record, the next thing I'm about to say was never actually said, I don't think...

"What we need now is Terrell Owens in prison becau...hey, no. Let me finish. Because he is a CANCER and with that CANCER you CAN NOT win games in the National. Foot-ball. League."

Right away, nearly everyone in the room is furious because its the dumbest thing they've ever heard. The audience is furious and everyone loves it because now they tune in to see the arguments over ridiculous things.

So in order to get people fighting, I'm delivering a list of opinions here. Remember that I believe most of what I'm about to say.

- The Velvet Underground sucks.

- Metallica's Load is an underrated album.

- The Beatles only deserve about 65% of their fame.

- Emo wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to America

- Aerosmith was.

- Pearl Jam is the best American band of all time.

- The Rolling Stones only have 3 great songs.

- So to put their needless fame in perspective, thats only 2 more than Buckcherry.

- And one more than Duran Duran.

- A cover of any Ramones song is better than the original.

- Radiohead isn't as good as you claim they are.

- Same goes for Tool.

- If at any point you considered Thursday to be the best band in the world, all your opinions are invalid.

- Theres no such this as an 'important' ska album.

- Its acceptable to like the idea of a band better than their music. Its why Motorhead is successful.

- Judas Priest doesn't hold a candle to Iron Maiden.

- Green Day does not deserve our respect for their 'contributions' to anything.

- If the Beastie Boys and their entire catalog just went away tomorrow, we wouldn't miss them.

- Coldplay deserves their success.

- Did I mention that I really hate The Velvet Underground?

The best thing about the outlandish statement? You don't back up a word of it, you let everyone else fight it out.