The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The Paris Hilton's My New BFF well isn't going to run dry anytime soon, so why not keep going back to it? I know I was supposed to review My Own Worst Enemy, I Tivo'd it but once again read other reviews and they say its good. Theres no fun in reviewing whats good so we'll go back to the show that helped me start this blog. And I don't mind doing it.

Episode 3 was probably the dumbest thus far. Paris has the BFFs go to Knott's Berry Farm to ride roller coasters and have pictures taken while doing it because if they can take a good picture on a roller coaster, they can look good dealing with waves of paparazzi. Or something. This is, of course, vital to picking out someone you want to be your friend. Its essentially the equivalent of what happened to Austin Millbarge and Emmit Fitzhume when they were made OIO.(I have really been on the hammer with references the last two days and I demand your admiration)

It basically goes without saying that Onch, the worst person in the history of reality television, had a huge problem with roller coasters. (s)He cried hysterically upon finding out and vomited for show three times throughout the episode. Its hard to find words for how much I hate him, it really is. It goes beyond regular hate, its so much deeper, I loathe him with every single atom that I am composed of.

First of all, look at him(that's him on the right, to the left is Chris Crocker of 'Leave Britney alone!' fame. Why these people were in the same room together and no one opened fire, I'll never know). Its easy to call my hatred homophobic, and he would, but it isn't. Regular gay people, even the ultra fabulous types are nothing like this. This guys act is preposterous. He knows hes on TV and is an over acting, over dramatic, unfunny, outrageously dressed, poxy little cunt and when you feel bad for Paris Hilton because she has to be around this asswipe, you're in uncharted territory on the hatred scale.

Now, four of the BFFs, Brittany, Sinsu, Bryan and Natasha get to join Paris on a trip to Japan for the Japanese VMAs. When they get there some harajuku girls give them $500 to get new clothes and tell them that two of them will be eliminated. Long story short, Bryan says nothing the whole trip and Sinsu gets shitfaced so they're both gone.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Onch mentions how he can do pedicures so Corrie makes a joke about it because Onch is Asian and Asians run basically every nail place in the country. This, to no ones surprise, sparks a race war. Zui, the biggest bitch on the planet starts the whole "I have to leave before I beat the shit out of this girl" act we see on every MTV reality show.

I hate Zui a lot. This is what she looks like. Do I really have to waste a paragraph discussing why shes the most foul, vile, detestable bag of wank on television? I don't think I do. Shes also naked on the internet for those interested, do a GIS for Zui. Its real gross.

Anyway, if you aren't watching, start. This show is awful, and I love it like you wouldn't believe.