Gah!

My head hurts, a lot. In fact, every time I go to type something I have this shock of horrible pain shoot into the front of my skull.

Yet here I am, 1:11am EST, telling you(and I mean that in the singular form, I'm sure its just one of you reading this) about The Pick-Up Artist 2.

And I do this for fun...

The show reintroduces us to the biggest tool on the planet, Mystery. I don't know how to describe him besides to say that he looks like this(I'm furious that I had to waste an outstanding Pschyonauts reference on a post no one will read. Here's an actual picture. GET IT!?). Anyway, he goes through life dressed like someone who presumably loves Rammstien, teaching greasy dudes how to hook up with girls and generally make everyone around them uncomfortable. It worked in season one, so why not do it again?

I should say though, credit where credits due, he makes it work. I can't emphasize enough how much he bothers me, and how unattractive he is, and yet, there's plenty of video evidence of him backing up his claim of being good at this. Fair play to him then. I'm saying alcohol plays a big part though.

Like last season, Matador is by his side, his wingman(I think they just say "wing", its cooler that way?) who looks like Dave Navarro, just a bigger or less of a prick. I haven't really decided, and I really hate Dave Navarro. And there's the girl Tara who would look better without her stupid bangs. Shes there to offer a female point of view, or something. Who cares?

Our contestants trying to become the next pick-up artist are as pathetic as ever. Rian is a 27 year old virgin, Simeon chooses to rock the ill advised polo/pajama pants/crocs trifecta, Karl works at Radioshack, Mark is hairy and gap toothed, Greg's voice cracks when he talks to girls, Brain is Asian, Kevin is also Asian and Alex is fat and assumed to be gay.

Rian is a special case as hes by far the most awkward person to ever be seen on television. He walks like he just shit his pants while lurching forward, as if hes been sucked into the gravitational pull of whatever hes walking towards. He wears a tshirt with an unfunny saying tucked into his jeans and is generally just embarrassing everyone around. While trying to pick out clothes during the makeovers he cried. Trying to dress up like a douchebag brought him to tears, yet he made the cut.

Alex, however, did not. Some girl grabbed his fake gaudy, ridiculous fake chain and he said nothing back to her and stood there looking like the sad sack he is. So he had to go.

I summed the end up pretty fast there. You might want to know more, but now isn't the time. Not with my headache. VH1 will replay it 4000 times tomorrow alone, its interesting, not good, but watch it. Its a cringe inducing good time and you might learn some pick up vocabulary.

"Two set"!